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Sunday, May 14, 2017


Judah Friedman

Roswell, seventy years! The Kennedy assassination, fifty-four years! The moon landing, forty-eight years! Elvis, forty years! 9/11, sixteen years! The birth certificate, nine years! Donald Trump colluding, or Russian business deals, infinity! The inability of Americans to accept defeat, on both sides of the aisle, “timeless”!
Dr. Michael Baden summed up conspiratorial theories after 9/11 better than anyone I have ever heard. To paraphrase him: “Sometimes the bad guys win.” This concept, he explained, is hard for Americans to digest, because we have been raised in a culture of television and movies, where the cowboys always win, and the cops always get the robbers. This naïveté, or lack of acceptance, is the building block for all conspiracies.
How many people, excluding the FBI, the House, and the Senate, do you think are investigating the president right now? A thousand? Thousands? With every piece of technology at their disposal, and Washington having more people leaking, than urinals at Grand Central Station, and nothing. They can’t even prove he’s ever tasted borscht, or used their dressing.
With at least 360 million people in America having cameras at their immediate disposal, why are there fewer documented alien sightings now than ten years ago? Why do aliens mainly hover in the desert? Are they Jewish? With all of Donald Trump’s reported business dealings, and many not having ended well, not one of those people, or businesses, has come forward and said that they had any association with Russia. We’ve had women make their unsubstantiated and libelous accusations. An old lady decrying his trying to force her from her land. But, to reiterate, not one person has come forward and claimed that he had Russian business ties. In the words of Ed Lover, “Come on, son.”
If you leave your car running, with the keys in it, and it gets stolen, do you blame the thief or do you blame yourself? Apparently, many Democrats, and the leftist loons, and, sadly enough, many Republicans blame the thief and not themselves. Disheartening and maddening? Yes! Unexpected? No! No one forced a server into Hillary’s bathroom, except maybe Bill. No one forced Democrats to send often disturbing emails on unsecured servers. You left your keys in the car. Don’t blame the Russians for taking it for a drive. Stop leaving your keys in the car!
Barack Obama won in 2008 for a few different reasons. The media canonizing him, a terrible Republican incumbent, an even worse Republican candidate, and a brilliant social media platform. That day, for Republicans, the “bad guy” won. Many couldn’t accept him and found reasons to delegitimize him. Same goes for 2012, tad better candidate, with the same results. Gratefully, the party leaders accepted defeat, and, by accepting, they were able to move on, and build an incredible technological and ground game, mixed with an extremely unconventional candidate and you know the outcome.
Leftists, liberals and Democrats, “a triple entendre”; we know you will never accept Donald Trump as your own president, but you are doing so at your own peril and at the risk of further demise. Chase the ghost of collusions and conspiracies past, or accept your losses. Accept that our “bad guy” won that day, or in 2036, as you’re still conspiring and chatting with Elvis and seeing UFOs, Ivanka will be elected the first female president of the United States. I know I won’t mind.

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