Dear Mr. President:
Thank you for listening to conservatives, and shrinking the government like we’ve been begging you for years! You finally cut a government service last week. And, hey, White House tours aren’t the first thing I would have cut. It’s a little sad that kids who have been looking forward to coming to see you over Spring Break won’t be able to fulfill that dream. A real bummer that “government by the people, for the people” now won’t let people inside its most famous symbol.
But let’s focus on the positives. You acknowledged that the government is spending too much money on services that we don’t really need. You looked at something the government does, and you said “cut it out!” Well done. Do less, Barry! Shut down everything that’s not mission critical to keeping the country afloat. Government only needs to do a few things: Keep citizens safe, protect the rule of law, let free people create a thriving society (as free people always do).
It is painfully telling that the one cut you made is something that affects citizens but does not affect you. You’ve thrown a wrench in school field trips and in family vacations. You have not given up anything yourself. So – to fix that mistake, which I’m sure was totally not intentional at all, since everyone keeps telling me you’re a true ally of the little guy – I’ve got a few suggestions:
The United States military runs 5,260 domestic flights every single day. When you need to travel, get on one of those. Air Force One costs us tens of thousands of dollars every hour. If you can’t afford to open the doors of the White House to the people who pay for your stuff, then you most certainly can’t afford Air Force One.
Camp David is a safe place to host foreign dignitaries and hold meetings. You know what else is a good place for those things? The White House. Camp David costs us millions of dollars per year. You want to raise revenue? Then put Camp David up on Craigslist – sublet it out!
Please cut out the National Tree and the annual Easter Egg Hunt. Those things cost money. We don’t have any money. I’m sure there’s a power company out there that would find us a nice big Christmas tree and gladly throw a tree lighting with its name attached to the event. And while we’re at it, I’d bet that a real estate or hotel company would gladly incur the cost of running White House tours just so their company name could be associated with America’s most famous address. These are not corporate gifts to the President. They are corporate gifts to citizens. Ain’t that some change we can really believe in!
Maybe next time, your Attorney General could SELL guns to Mexican drug lords, instead of just giving them away.
If you hadn’t wasted over $500 million on Solyndra, we could fund lots more White House tours.
Why is there an Office of the First Lady? We hired you, not her! She may really need a scheduler or an assistant or both – but an entire staff for someone who is not a government employee? That’s excessive.
I could ask you to cut out entire departments, even entire agencies, that the country simply does not need. But if I did, then you and your spokespeople would suddenly start calling every little thing an “essential” service. I know how this works. You have stacked the deck against people who tell the truth about your expenses. I could also ask you to shrink your budget, but you don’t have one. You haven’t had one in years. I get it, Barry – math is hard! We certainly can’t expect the President – the first among equals – to create a budget and stick to it, even though it’s something that literally every other American has to do.
Thank you for taking this one step to reduce the footprint of your government. Now please take some more – we have a long way to go.
Do less, Barry!